i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
