i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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