I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize