i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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