her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
