I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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