It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
