I want to have your abortion
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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