butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize