I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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