Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
