I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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