Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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