so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
