i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
