I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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