the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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