She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
