her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
