My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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