sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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