Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
