I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
