Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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