People with herpes should wear stickers.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I FOUND THE LEGS
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
