I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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