Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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