I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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