i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize