So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
