whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
