I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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