I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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