Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
