can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I am one with the molecules
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
