My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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