We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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