i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
