When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize