As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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