I could make wine with my vomit
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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