i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
only if we run a train.
done.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
