I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
