the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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