respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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