hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
