Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Mom said you looked used
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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