Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
