Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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