I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Randomize
