new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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