I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
