Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
