yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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