My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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