the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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