I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
