Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
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