At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
