idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
